


A Day in the Life

by kungfunurse



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:59:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9259274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kungfunurse/pseuds/kungfunurse
Summary: Just another day on Atlantis for John and his scientist.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm transferring some old stories from my LJ to preserve them as time-capsules of writing whimsey. Enjoy!

"... through perils unimaginable to save you, Dr McKay-"

"Fine, fine, yes. Go sit over there with the others and keep your mouth shut."

John eyed the growing bunch of alternate universe travelers with a suspicious eye. There were three of them, now. Sleek, intelligent, sexy-looking time, er, dimension travelers and not one of them looked a damn thing like him.

"Hey," he said, leaning closer to Rodney, "how come none of them, you know..."

"Isn't it obvious? These morons are from dimensions where you've either been killed off or worse, never made it through the Stargate to begin with. Don't worry, your manliness is still unquestioned. It's becoming abundantly clear that any dimension without you in it is even more terrifyingly lethal to me than this one."

"Yeah, ok, but what are they doing here?" Sheppard demanded hotly. And really, enough was enough. They were all eyeing Rodney with possessive little eyes and they could just back the fuck off. They'd already lost their Rodney and there was no way in hell he was letting them have his.

"Obviously I am also the smartest man in every other dimension imaginable, as well as this one. Their scientists can't even figure out how to send them back in time properly. That one," he pointed at tall, blond, and hunky, "actually had to rely on Kavanagh to send him back. Can you imagine?" he shuddered, hands flying across several computers simultaneously. "He probably tried to do some slingshot around the sun Star Trek pseudo-science."

"That would explain the scorched puddlejumper," John replied thoughtfully. "Ah ah ah!," he said warningly, glock trained meaningfully on Too-sexy-for-his-shirt tattoo guy. "Sit."

"But-"

"I said, sit!" 

Reluctantly, Tattoos sat back down and John swept the muzzle across the rest of them, making his position very clear on the whole "approaching Rodney" thing. Every one of them had done their best to convince Rodney to return with them to wherever the hell they'd come from, and John was having a hard time suppressing the itch to just shoot them on general principles.

"John, this is Weir. How is Rodney coming along with our guests?"

"Weir, Sheppard here. McKay thinks he can have all of our traveling friends home by lunchtime. Something about tracking their unique energetic signature to some harmonic in the space-time blabity-blah."

"Er, come again, Colonel?"

"Elizabeth, that was obviously military-speak for the Colonel not having the slightest clue what he's talking about. Now please stop distracting us, this is actually harder than it looks and every time the Colonel gets distracted he sort of gets this 'But I didn't mean to shoot them' look on his face."

"Hey! I've never shot anyone that I wasn't fully intending to shoot." He smiled reassuringly at an alternate version of Sumner, who fidgeted a bit on his seat.

"Dr Mckay, if we could just be sure that you will return us to our own time, that is, the time we were aiming at to recover you, I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say-"

"Can it, Blondie." John frowned, his wandering glock having found a new target. "McKay is a very busy man, as I'm sure you're well aware. You're lucky he's taking time away from his morning to help you get back at all. If you wanted first class time travel accommodations, well you should have discussed that with your own geeks. This one's taken," he smirked at them, visions of the north pier dancing in his head.

Apparently his visions were contagious, since all three of them settled down meekly and kept their mouths shut after that.

After lunch (macaroni and not-cheese, Athosian goat-milk stew and an apple) when McKay finally sent the last of their unwanted visitors on his way, John holstered his sidearm. "You know, Rodney, maybe I should, I don't know, stick a little closer to you for a while. If something catastrophic is happening to put you in mortal peril in all those dimensions at the same time, there could be some overlap to this one?"

"Colonel, I'm in mortal peril all the time! There's nothing different about today except that you seem determined to stand over me, protecting my virtue like a jealous cat."

"A cat, Rodney?" 

"Yes, you're just like my old cat. He used to pee on my girlfriend's laps. Not that there were that many, mind you, but still."

"Um, Rodney-"

"And boyfriends too, for that matter. I mean, he wasn't choosy, anyone who looked like they had the slightest interest in having sex with me, bang, instant target."

"Really? Boyfriends? Rodney, you sly dog, you've been holding out on me."

"Oh? I could have sworn I'd mentioned... oh well. Now if you'll excuse me, Colonel, this morning's entertainment has left me weeks behind on my work."

"Rodney, wait. I was just thinking, why don't you choose the movie tonight? You know, to make up for all that inconvenient dimensional traveling harassment."

"Um, sure, but isn't movie night tomorrow night?"

"Well, yeah, but I thought we could have, you know a separate little movie night. For just you and me." John smiled winningly.

"Oh, uh, ok. Fine. 1930 then?"

"Sounds like a plan," John approved, then waited until Rodney disappeared around the corner before hightailing it back to his quarters. If he traded favors with Martins, he could get his laundry done this afternoon and be wearing his favorite black shirt for tonight. One way or another, he was going to make sure Rodney knew exactly where he belonged.

-fin


End file.
